I got a LinkedIn notification today that someone I hired made it to one of the highest technical roles the company has. He came in as an underdog, shy, and an awkward technical seller. His Indian accent didn’t immediately win over decision makers who dismissed his technical depth as a requirement to get passed the interviewing process.

He’s a raw talent with the intelligence to treat that talent as a skill. He knew and faced the biases head-on, but not confrontationally. He would schedule time with me to learn how I presented. He forced me to understand a system that I had built unconsciously throughout my career. The notification was a championship belt. He made it. He put in the work, didn’t complain and won. He earned the title I never did, but through his promotion I shared a victory.

Years later, the battles I kept from him and the team were validated by what he became. I didn’t earn the promotion; my role was just to be a conduit for him to enter the arena. The education, expertise, and commitment to improvement while not losing his identity were his. As his leader my role was to get him and everyone else on the team all the things they needed. I would have loved to have held the title he holds, but that wasn’t my role.

Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy expand on this in their book ‘Who Not How.’ The core idea is simple: stop asking how you will accomplish something and start asking who can accomplish it for you. The leader is the visionary who finds the right people to execute that vision. The who’s turn “what if” into “what is” when they have the autonomy to.

Not everyone is a good “who,” and not everyone is a good manager. Managing has turned into a thankless job where you are saying no to the people on either side of you while maintaining trust from them. From the top down a manager must be trusted to meet objectives without oversight. From the bottom up they must be trusted to tell the top when the expectations are unreal, and, to leave the doers to get things done.

Trust is given, then earned. This is how I’ve lived my life regardless of the environment. DMX said “Trust everyone to be themselves but know them when you see them.” As a leader you must empower those who work to reach the goals you and you leaders set. If the goal posts move, move them closer to successful outcomes for the outcomes, not to compensate for financial shortcomings that should have been addressed in the boardroom.

Doing this means moving out of the way to create a straight line, or, picking someone up before being down becomes acceptable to them. If you hire, hire for the potential, not their past, and not for the approval of the person who hired you. Daniel was my first hire who came from an extremely respected organization but was a cook at Michelin rated restaurants before that. Abhi was my next who was an observability expert with no experience in data science.

Daniel, the cook educated us on the insider risk and insider threat related and differ. Abhi, took us through the details about observability in a way that was so meaningful all the naysayers could complain about was his accent. After each round I sat with the team, heard them out.

It was clear that the new outsiders were polarizing. The team held both of them in very high regards, but they weren’t looking far enough into the future. Blaming my team for not seeing what I did felt like me wanting the facts to be different until I accepted that being a leader means taking action.

Taking action didn’t mean forcing everyone to do as I said, but to risk my position so the team could make it to the top of the podium. An old coach of mine once said “An athlete cannot tell you how they do, a coach can, but a coach no-longer can do like the athlete. They need each other to win, but they need trust to more than each other. Trust yourself, then your team, then your coach because your coach has taught you to trust in that order.”

Much like a coach, a leader’s role is not to have the light on them, but to be the one shining light on others. As a coach the game changes. You’re not on the board anymore, you’re moving pieces around. Wrestlers say that it is the greatest team sport known to man, but it’s only one wrestler verse another. When I challenged a wrestler on that perception he replied, “have you ever tried to wrestle yourself?”

Coaches and parents are proudest of the athlete that beats their personal best even if they don’t make the podium, but when they do it’s the parents the cameras turn to. Leaders and coaches are the quotes of inspiration that echo in the minds of people that have the “it” factor someone took notice of. Being notified of their success is a win no crowd can cheer louder than.

Seeing Abhi make it to that position was a win that I wasn’t able to get for myself. The black belt matured me, it humbled me, and when it was around my waste it signified that I was no longer just taking information, but that I now have enough failures overcome to share what I’ve learned.